The Balustrade King

Ralph is THE worst. Usually the guys are fine, but Ralph is the actual, genuine worst – worse than all of the girls, except for Justine. I especially hate her, but that’s what happens when you ask me, in front of everyone, if I should be eating dim sims for lunch with a figure like mine.

We can’t all be stick insects, Justine! Gosh! So rude!

But Ralph… ugh, Ralph. Ralph in name, Ralph in game. Ralph, he of the family glazier. Melbourne has been under their thumb for too long, too long, I say! He’s always coming into school, swaggering because his family are glazier professionals with a glass balustrade empire stretching from the Great Frankston Point, all the way to the Sunshine Wastes. Everyone loves him and he gets ALL the girls, because his family are so good at installing balustrades and the like, but the thing that really rubs me up the wrong way is that Ralph has never pursued me

I could be the queen consort of a glass kingdom, you know. Multiple times I’ve gone to sit near Ralph at lunch, made sultry comments, complimented his shoes, said that his hair looks nice today. He always moves away, which I think is the smell of the dim sims rather than anything I, personally, have done. Curse these dim sims and their delicious addictiveness! 

I’ve given up trying to pursue him, just as he gave up on pursuing me before we even met, or saw each other. If he wants to give his family’s glazing riches to some other girl, so be it. We could’ve been great together, me and Ralph! Him, with his vast riches, wealth and lots of money, and me, with the things that I have. But he threw that all away, and I now hate him.

I can’t hate the glass stair balustrades, though. They’re SO nice, I swear. Nicer than dim sims.