Protective Window Glass

There was a report on Melbourne Minutes that was basically just listing all the things that people say will give you health problems in the future. There was the sun of course, mobile phones, maple flavoured bacon, a very specific brand of chocolate buttons…um…it was very long and very silly.

But now, they say, there is a way to get protection, and it’s as simple as phoning a company in Melbourne for office window tinting. Yep, that simple. Apparently, according to ‘sun-ologist’ Peter Shades, all you need is some really good quality window tinting, and it’s something that every office needs to get on quick. From what I can see, a lot of them are getting on it. Take a walk through the CBD and nowadays you can barely see into a single window. And a lot of the shop fronts around here have started to get it done, so now I’m often put in the awkward situation where I have no idea if a place is open or closed.

I’m about 80% sure that someone saw me trying to get into the cheesecake shop and walking straight into the door, and now it’s circulating around town as a vicious rumour. It’s not MY fault if you can’t see the ‘Closed’ sign because the window tinting is too strong!

In any case, I have reason to doubt Peter Shades, and the host obviously did as well. He asked a lot of piercing questions, and Peter was sweating behind his giant aviators as he couldn’t really give evidence for any of them. What kind of scientist wears gigantic sunglasses all the time, anyway? I’m sure tinted windows are very nice, but it looks like the trend might be aesthetic or practical in a simpler way, rather than stopping skin cancer in its tracks.

I’m sure next week we’ll find out something else, like how window glass frosting is the great sun protector and that we need to stop using pagers because they’ll melt our brains. Just like television was always supposed to.