The Old Days

I remember back in the day, when calluses were a serious problem. that was when we walked to school in the snow, and we had to fend off ravenous wolves. Australia’s wolf population certainly has been curbed in recent years; I wonder what happened to all of them? Maybe the kangaroo population took care of a majority of them, and kids nowadays can walk to school without having to fend off kangaroos because they keep to themselves. That, and the fact that Melbourne is a big city now, and big animals like kangaroos don’t often just hop right into the city limits.

Nowadays all the kids are getting childrens orthotics near Cheltenham, for some reason, and I have a problem with that, for some reason. I don’t question my own actions, because reasons.

Would’ve been nice to have orthotics when WE were travelling to school, because all those years of heavy walking in snowy and extremely hot conditions has left my feet in a sorry state. Yep…every foot condition under the sun, right here, and it’s all because orthotics weren’t invented when i was a child. Maybe there were invented in some fancy city place, but we were out in the bush and the best you could do was go to see doctor Wagner, the suspiciously-German fellow who always tried to prescribe steroids of his own creation for every little thing, and I’m not convinced that they ever did anything besides make your accent sound suspiciously-German.

I bet podiatrists are everywhere now. My grandchildren got me some orthoheel sandals for Christmas, which is a lovely gesture, and I do appreciate that such things exist nowadays, but with the state of my feet it’s a bit like sticking a band-aid on a decapitation. Orthoheel sandals, eh? I guess I could always use them as throwing weapons if the kangaroos ever get a bit too bold.

-Joe