Sometimes it’s tough, having lived a full life and knowing basically everything. It gets worse when, to stave off retirement boredom, you take multiple computer courses and you become totally tech-savvy, keeping up with all the latest innovations. Every time my grandkids come around it’s always “Grandpa, my tablet browser keeps crashing!” or “Grandpa, the task bar won’t hide when I go full-screen!” or “Grandpa, the internet is running slow, can you have a look at the router!”
And those are just the tech questions. I have to handle broader life queries as well. My oldest grandson, Viktor, has just bought a home in the north of Melbourne, but he didn’t have a clue how Melbourne title transfers really worked. He works very hard and saves like a champion, but he wasn’t overly sure about the conveyancing process. So at the same time as counselling him to break up with that complete weirdo of a girlfriend and her obsessive musical club (yes, he was basically breaking up with the club at the same time), I had to give him the right numbers to call, and teach him the process of finding and buying a home. His parents should’ve been the ones doing this, but they rely on me as well – far too much. I am the great vending machine of wisdom, or so it would seem… well, if not wisdom, then at least basic knowledge about conveyancing, relationships and why you should never delete system 32, you foolish noobs.
Things were a little bit simpler back when I was younger and still fresh from my first home-buying experience. They were fresh-faced youngsters, those property conveyancers. South East Melbourne was a land of real estate possibilities… it was all so different. But I don’t dwell in the past, because that’s how you become out of touch, and you stop keeping up with the latest smartphone releases. And if I don’t have my vast field of knowledge on title transfers, tablets and all things in between, then what am I, really?